Nicki walked out of the bathroom and tugged at the bottom of her shirt. She rolled her eyes feeling irritated as she passed SB's empty room. Since everything blew up the day after New Year's, Nicki hasn't talked to SB since and she was angry about it. At him, and at herself. When she realized she made almost the biggest mistake of her life she called SB wanting to fix things but he didn't answer. Instead, he continued working on his mixtape and doing things for himself. It was hard to say what he wanted to do. He wanted to answer her calls or texts. He felt bad treating her this way even though he was just giving her the same treatment she gives him.
But Nicki couldn't deny it or play it off any longer. It was getting to her. How did things get so bad in just a little matter of time? She didn't like it and was regretting her decision. She walked into her bedroom and walked over to her phone not rushing at all at the sound of it ringing. For what? It wasn't him... She picked up her phone and pressed answer while taking a seat on her bed.
"Hello?"
"Cheer up." Candi said.
"I am." Nicki said not changing the tone of her voice at all as she got up from the bed.
"Still no answer?"
"No." Nicki walked down the steps making her way to the kitchen.
"He'll come around."
"He won't. I fucked up." Nicki said the last part with a weak and half broken voice. It was true. She fucked up. Big time. And she was terrified that this time was permanent. She let go of the rail as she walked down the last step and into the kitchen.
"He always comes back. Just give him time. How do you know he doesn't miss you too?"
"Everything he said was right."
"Ohhh, don't say that."
"No, it's true. I guess that's the shit everyone keeps telling me about."
Nicki huffed. She was irritated at the fact that she was feeling sorry for herself. She was irritated that she didn't think of the outcome when she decided to put her plan mixed with someone's input in motion. She was irritated that her world was crumbling down right in front of her and at this point in time it was out of her hands. The people who she realized she needed the most she let go and now they want nothing to do with her.
"Don't be so sad. You want me to come over? We can watch Set It Off and I'll bring some Chicken and Hot Sauce to make you happy."
Nicki slightly laughed. "No, I'll be fine."
"You sure? Cause I already ordered Popeyes and if you don't want it me and TT are about to demolish it."
"Bye Candi. I love you, thanks for everything."
"You know you my girl. Love you. Make up with him!"
"He doesn't want to talk to me!" Nicki said hanging up. She placed her phone down on the island and walked over to the pantry. Time to eat my feelings, Nicki thought. She grabbed the bag of Goldfish off the shelf and closed the pantry behind her.
---
[Safaree]
"Aye, that's dope. Lemme see." Just then Safaree was interrupted by his phone. "Hold up. Lemme take this." He pulled his phone out and held a hand up to engineer and walked out of the studio room.
"It's Fengali, wuddup."
"Boy, bye." Candi said. SB huffed knowing where this was headed before it even got started.
"Whatchu want?" SB said before he licked his lips.
"You and Nicki need to fix things."
"For what? She fired me." He adjusted his hat on his head.
"Yeah and she regrets it."
"Then why she do it? All that listening to other people and shit."
"Look. I know she fucked up. She knows she fucked up. And right now I can bet you she's eating her feelings away and watching depressing ass love movies. Go to the house cause I know you in LA. And sit y'alls dumb asses down and talk."
"Whatever man. I'm wasting studio time."
"No, you're wasting my time. Both of y'all! We all know Nicki made a bad decision but don't give up on her. You knew she was stubborn as fuck from jump. Now put that shit on hold and go fix it. And if I call Nicki tomorrow and ain't shit changed, I'm fighting both of y'all."
Candi hung up the phone and SB shook his head. He pressed end and placed the phone in his back pocket. He stared up at the ceiling for a second with his hands on his head. He sighed and turned around opening the studio door and walked in.
"Yo, I got some things to take care of. I'll hit you later."
"Aight man, be careful."
"Always." SB said before waking out of the door and making his way out of the studio. He hopped in his car putting on his sunglasses and sat there for a minute. He looked around the empty parking lot before he put his keys in the ignition and pulled off.
---
Nicki wiped her face for the 3rd time in less than a second. She hated that she was sitting here feeling sorry for herself and she just wanted everything to magically come together and everything to be okay...including him be here... with her... and WANTING to be there. She grabbed her phone when it buzzed and a lump formed in her throat at the sight of what was on her screen. She was hesitant to open the message from him. She opened the message and stared at it for a moment.
I'm coming by. We need to talk. On my way.
After moments of re-reading the message she sat her phone down beside her and got up from the bed. She was nervous. Was he coming by to fix things? Or was he coming by to reassure her of the decision she made and continue to show her just what she lost? Shaking her nerves she tried to be cool. She didn't want to keep thinking negative, have her guard up when he gets here, and make yet another decision that she'll regret in the long run. She walked down the steps and made her way to the front door. Since SB gave her back his key, she knew she had to go unlock the door for him. She stepped to the door, placing one hand on the door while using her other hand to unlock all the locks. When it came down to the bottom lock on the door knob it twisted and Nicki quietly gasped stepping back. Another lump formed in her throat when the door opened and tears filled her eyes the second she saw him in the door way. She folded her arms across her chest and tried to avoid looking into his face.
SB stepped in closing the door behind him and debated whether or not he should step any closer. He shrugged it off and placed a hand on her arm. Nicki wiped at her face and slowly turned her head to look up him. His heart broke looking into her face. Her eyes said a million things in this moment and right now.. he didn't care about the situation. Looking into her face and seeing her like this, he knew she cared. Finally. Behind the mask she put up and everything he saw the care behind the hurt. And that's what made him forget about all the shit she's put him through 10 times over.
Nicki broke the longer she looked into his face and she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his wrists and led him behind her to the living room. He sat on the couch at one end and Nicki sat down at the other end of the couch wanting to give him space. His face was emotionless and she didn't know if that meant he was still angry or here to make things better because she really didn't think she could take another day of this.
"I'm no-"
"Just let me talk." Nicki said first while still not looking in his direction. "I messed up. And everything you said was right." Nicki said as she shook her head and wiped her tears. "You were right. I put business before you and I didn't care. It's just like... everything is out of my control and I don't like it. It's scary. And I pushed you away, this time for good. So if you're here to tell me that I'm a selfish bitch, go ahead. I deserve it. If you're do-" Nicki tried to regulate her breathing that began to speed at the thought of what she was about to say. "If you're done with me for good then I'll take it."
"Nic, I'm not-"
Nicki held her hand up and stopped him shaking her head. "No. Just do one thing for me, please?" She said as she wiped her face. "Please?"
"Anything."
"Forgive me? Please?"
SB threw his head back resting it on the couch. It was hard for him to see Nicki like this. He's never seen Nicki like this.
"I'll always forgive you."
Nicki gave a quick little smile before she continued wiping at her face she went to get up from the couch and SB stopped her.
"Come here." He said as he raised his head up. Nicki walked over to SB and hesitantly put her hand in his. He pulled her onto his lap and she made herself comfortable in his lap trying to stop her cries. She sighed into his chest feeling herself so happy in this moment whether or not it was just for this moment.
"I'm sorry." Nicki said. "I'm so sorry. I was so stupid to make that decision. I need you, SB. I really do." She stated never breaking from his chest. "Just, please..." she said in between heavy breaths. "Don't make me do this alone. I realized I messed up, just come back."
SB rubbed Nicki's back as she talked and moved his hands back placing them on her thighs.
"I'm here no matter what. You gotta stop though. Stop treating me like I'm against you, I'm not, Nic. For real."
"Is it over?"
"What?" SB said looking down at the top of her head. Nicki sat there for a moment before she pulled back and sat herself up.
"Do you still love me?" Nicki said barely audible while looking away not really wanting to know the answer. She sat there for a moment and felt her body becoming weak to his silence. She looked at him and he answered.
"I told you... this is forever."
Nicki smiled and wiped at her tear stained face. She grabbed his sunglasses and took them off his face wanting to look in his eyes. She wanted him to see that she was sorry. She wanted him to see that from this day forward she was going to make a change. No more of treating him how she treated him in the past because she saw where it was headed and it wasn't for her. She wanted him to see that she really does love him. That she really does need him. He removed his hands from her thighs and grabbed hers and she locked their fingers falling into his chest.
---
[Later that day]
"No, come lay with me." Nicki tapped the spot that was beside her and threw the covers back. SB walked around the bed and took that spot. "Hold me." Nicki was needy for his affection now that he was back and she was going to make sure she cherishes every single moment with SB. Every good moment and make sure they never have another HORRIBLE moment. She couldn't deal with another one of those.
"I need to tweet my barbz."
Nicki pulled up her twitter app and hit the compose new tweet button.
BARBZ!!!!!!!!! WATCH JAY LENO TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD STUFF!!!! LOVE U!!!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!
She twisted her lip and composed another new tweet.
HEAR ME BARBZ!?!?!?!? WATCH JAY LENO TONIGHT!!!!! K, BYE
She went to sit her phone down when she remembered one more thing.
AND WATCH ELLEN TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!! =)
She looked over her timeline and laughed at them going in on her caps lock and smiled at the ones still talking about the fact that her and SB had made up. They always know, she thought. She snuggled into SB more and put her phone down. "The barbz wanted me to stay and talk to them." Nicki said as she ran her hand down SB's arm before she locked their fingers.
"Why didn't you?" he said not taking his eyes off the screen.
"I have something more important to give my attention to." Nicki said raising her head up and kissing his cheek. "I love you so much, babe. I mean that."
He took his attention off the screen and looked down at her. "I love you too, Nicki." he bent down and kissed her forehead and Nicki smiled and rested her head on his chest.
"You make me happy...you just being here." she said talking more so out loud than to him.
"I'll always be here."
"Thank you, babe." Nicki said as she unlocked their fingers and wrapped her arms around his body tightly and sighed into his chest. She missed him so much and she learned her lesson. If you love somebody, you have to let them know. Tomorrow's never promised together, you have to let it show.
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