The Beginning

k so this blog is for oneshots. Basically all of these are around Nicki's underground days. Might turn it into a story, might not. Don't really know. Just going to write the ideas I have over here and post them. But some might be present day ideas. You never know.  anyways, here you go.

-----

Nicki took off her apron and tossed it on top of the box.

“It’s time to get the fuck outta here.”

“I know. You make any tips tonight?”

“Mhmm.” Nicki dug her hand in her pocket with her long nails and pulled out a wad of money.

“Ha!” Sherika said before pulling out her wad of tips and her and Nicki high fived.  “You work til closing tomorrow?”

“No. I have a meeting with Fendi.”

“I thought you was scared to meet with that guy.”

“I still am. I just need to get this music shit started. I can’t with Red Lobster anymore.” Nicki said as she stuck the money in her work pants. “You need a ride home?” Nicki asked Sherika while pushing her big black and pink crimps over her shoulder.

“Nah, I got one. You going straight home?” Sherika said as she pulled her keys out of her pocket.

“Yeah, I need to write some shit. If Fendi thinks I’m good I might get that last spot on the Come Up DVD.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, now I need get in my zone.” Nicki grabbed her leather jacket off of a box and put it around her. She grabbed the keys out of her jacket pocket and waited for Sherika to fully put her jacket on before walking towards the back exit. She turned off the light and they walked out of the back of the Red Lobster building and Nicki flicked through her keys. “What the fu…” Nicki said right before she found the key to lock up.

“Alright. I’ll call you?”

“You better.”

They hugged before Nicki walked over to her car and Sherika walked over to hers. Nicki opened the door and climbed in her car and her phone rang. She stuck the key in the ignition before digging through her purse. She cursed herself for always needing a big ass purse at times like this. “Just hang uuuuuuuuuuup.” Nicki said out loud.  The phone stopped ringing and she smiled successfully. She put on her seatbelt and drove out of the parking lot and off to her apartment.

“I’m starving, yo.” Nicki said out loud. She closed her refrigerator and walked out of the kitchen and into her living room. She picked up her phone and dialed SB's number. Her best friend that she called at anytime for any reason and he came to the rescue. She put the phone to her ear and held it there with her shoulder and played with her nails for a quick second before she grabbed her notebook and her pen.

"Hello." SB said.

"Fuckin some random bitch?" Nicki dropped the notebook to the side on the couch and stood up.

"Don't start that."

"I'm joking." Nicki said with a laugh while walking down the hall to her room. "Bring me something to eat, SB." 

"I know you got tips today."

"Nigga, don't act like that."

"I'm not coming over. You told me you had to write today."

"You play too fuckin much."

"Nah. You need to write."

"Then bring your ass over here and help me write."

"No."

"Pwweeeaaasssee Faree." Nicki said in a baby voice while she walked over to her dresser and grabbed her lotion off the dresser.

"I hate that shit."

"Just bring me some fucking food, I'm starving."

"I thought you went to the store?"

"I forgot. I had to work."

"That's tough."

"SB."

"Aight. Damn. I'm coming. What you want?"

Nicki smiled successfully before pouring the lotion into her hand.

"Anything."

"Aight.

---

"Police! Open up!"

Nicki hopped up from the couch and went to open the door.

"SB, shut up."

"Aye. I brought you food."

"Did you ride your bike over here?" she said as she moved to the side and let him in.

"Nah, I drove."

"You knew I wanted to take it for a ride." Nicki said with an attitude.

"Get over it." he said walking into the kitchen and dropping the bags of food on Nicki's counter.

"Which one's mine?"

"That one right there." SB said nodding his head at the back that he just placed to the right. Nicki's phone rang as she went to dig in the bag and she sighed. "I got this. I'll bring it in there." He said as Nicki turned to walk away. Nicki went and grabbed her phone off the couch and bit her lip before shrugging it off and answering it.

"Hello."

"Wussup, baby."

"Stop."

"Come make this drop with me."

"No, I told you I'm done with that shit Webb." Nicki said as she took on the couch. She sat in the corner of the couch and tucked her feet underneath her.

"C'mon, baby."

"No." Nicki said in a baby voice. She looked up at Safaree who placed the food on the coffee table that sat in the middle of the living room.

"You know you get the job done. I need you to come back."

"Well you fucked that up when you screwed me over."

"That was almost a year ago."

"So."

"Come see me. I miss you."

"No. Is that all you called for? I gotta go."

"I'm coming over."

"No you're not. I have company."

"Whose over there? You got a man, now? So you replacing me? Nobody can treat you better than me, baby."

"Bye, Webb."

Nicki said before she hung up the phone. She looked over at Safaree who was shaking his head and eating his food. She knew what he was thinking and she hears enough from her mom and people on the streets, she doesn't want to hear it from him too because she knows. She just has to get the strength to finally cut him off after 6 years. She doesn't have feelings for him anymore. The moment he fucked up everything was dropped. But she felt bad because she knew Webb didn't have anyone. No family or anything.

"Don't say it." Nicki said.

"I'm not." Nicki stared at him being annoyed because she knew where this conversation was headed. She remembered that the stuff she ordered for SB came in the mail and got up from the couch. She walked back to her room and grabbed the shirt that she had on her bed. She walked back into the living room and he looked up.

"Here, grumpy." she threw the shirt at him and it landed on top of his head. She laughed and he dropped the fork down to his plate. He took the shirt off his head and looked at it.

"Yooooooooo, these are dope. These for the shows?"

"Mhmmm." Nicki said. Well, whenever I can book a fucking show. I just want to be a successful female rapper already, she thought. She laid down on the couch and stretched out behind him since he was sitting back much. She rolled her eyes think about the fact that she was laying on her hair right now and messing it up. She looked over at her food not feeling hungry anymore. "I got you a whole bunch of them back in my room." Nicki said while she raised her hand up and pointed it to her room.

"Red?"

"Even in red." Nicki said as she stared at him as he looked over the t-shirt that was black with purple and white letters that read 'I Wanna Minaj'. "You'll be my hypeman. I'll need you at every show."

"Aight. I guess I could work around my schedule." SB said as he put a hand on his chin. 

"So you're gonna do this with me?"

"Yeah." he said with a shrug. "Since Hoodstars got fucked up. Might as well help you with your solo career." he said before she stuffed a fork full of food into his mouth.

"You think that was my fault?"

"I ain't say nothin like that." he said chewing his food. "I know it was Webb the whole time. I ain't know he had connects with Lou but I figured it out. Told you to leave his dumb ass alone."

"How many times are you going to remind me that I fucked up?"

He ignored her and continued eating his food. He placed the shirt on the edge of the couch and grabbed his cup taking a drink. Nicki rolled her eyes and played with the crimps in her hair. She was over everyone telling her about her mistakes and her biggest mistake ever, Webb. He ruined her shot at finally being able to do what she wanted to do. When Nicki broke it off with Webb he went to the one thing that meant the most to her at that point in time. Her music. He reached out to Lou and filled his head with lies about both Nicki and SB that resulted in the whole group just breaking up. They were so close to getting a deal and then DOOM! He came through and ruined it.

Nicki sighed feeling a headache coming on. She raised her foot and tapped it on SB's back. He looked over at her.

"SB, rub my head."

"Whoa, pauz."

Nicki laughed before closing her eyes. "Please. Just rub right here." Nicki said pointing to her temples.

"Why can't you do it?"

"My nails."

"Told you to get rid of those." he scooted down some closer to Nicki and took his first two fingers and massaged her temples. "Can I stop now?"

"You just started."

SB said stared at her and looked her over. "When you put this pink back in ya hair?"

"After you told me I should keep it."

"How was work?"

"Hell. That's why this music shit needs to work."

"About that. Get up."

SB removed his hand from her temple and slapped her on the thigh. Nicki opened her eyes and sat up leaning back on the couch.

"I can't write at night. I have to do it in the morning."

"You always got an excuse." SB shook his head and went back to eating his food. "You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry anymore." She played with her crimps while looking at SB.  "I'll give you your stupid money back if you want it. You're a horrible best friend."

"I'm the best best friend ever."

"Are you coming with me tomorrow?"

"When?"

"To meet Fendi."

"Yeah. Ion trust this guy."

"This needs to work."

"What?"

"This music shit."

"Can't take it no more, huh?"

"No!" Nicki unintentionally shouted. "Red Lobster is Hell. I need to be doing what I love...in more ways than one." Nicki said looking off.

"You talked to your mom today?" SB asked.

"No. Why?"

"She called me."

"Why didn't she called me?"

"She said she's trying to give you your space and independence since you decided to move out. She just told me to make sure I check up on you."

"My mom loves you." Nicki said folding her arms across her chest and staring at SB. He turned and looked at her with a smirk.

"Who doesn't?"

"You know she calls you her son."

SB chuckled before he put the lid back on his takeout box of food.

"Yeah, I know. Jelani told me."

Both of them looked toward Nicki's window when they heard a loud roar of thunder.

"Yo, is that thunder?"

Nicki stood up and walked over to her window. She rolled her eyes and dropped her hands down from her curtains.

"Yup."

"Shit. I need to go then."

"Why?" she sat back down on the couch while she stared at Safaree as he stood up and grabbed his take out box while heading for the kitchen.

"I ain't tryna be stuck in the storm on my way back to Flatbush."

"Stay here." Nicki said loud enough for him to hear in the kitchen as he threw away the takeout box.

"All night?"

"You do it all the time, Safaree."

SB walked out of the kitchen and Nicki stared at him when he grabbed his keys off the table. She grabbed his jacket that he was reaching for and put it behind her.

"Stay." she began to play with her hair again. "Please. I'm lonely and I'm scared of thunder." Nicki said in a baby voice. He shook his head. For someone as hard [pauz] as Nicki she sure does still love to be babied. "Please."

"Aight." He huffed and sat back down on the couch. He took his shoes off getting comfortable and turned his hat forward laying his head back.

"Thank you, jerk."

"Yeah. Start writing." he said as he tossed Nicki her pen and notebook.

"Fine." Nicki took it out of his hands and looked over at her phone when it went off. "Hand me that."

SB raised up grabbing Nicki's phone off the coffee table and handed it to her. She opened her messages and read the message from Webb.

Come make this drop with me baby and I'll make sure you get that deal from Fendi. I'll see you at 2 a.m. if you want that deal

Nicki bit her lip staring at the message before she closed it and tossed her phone beside her. She looked up at SB who was all into the movie before she began writing letting the words that were in her mind out onto a page.

We Should Make This Work...

Nicki walked out of the bathroom and tugged at the bottom of her shirt. She rolled her eyes feeling irritated as she passed SB's empty room. Since everything blew up the day after New Year's, Nicki hasn't talked to SB since and she was angry about it. At him, and at herself. When she realized she made almost the biggest mistake of her life she called SB wanting to fix things but he didn't answer. Instead, he continued working on his mixtape and doing things for himself. It was hard to say what he wanted to do. He wanted to answer her calls or texts. He felt bad treating her this way even though he was just giving her the same treatment she gives him.

But Nicki couldn't deny it or play it off any longer. It was getting to her. How did things get so bad in just a little matter of time? She didn't like it and was regretting her decision. She walked into her bedroom and walked over to her phone not rushing at all at the sound of it ringing. For what? It wasn't him... She picked up her phone and pressed answer while taking a seat on her bed.

"Hello?"

"Cheer up." Candi said.

"I am." Nicki said not changing the tone of her voice at all as she got up from the bed.

"Still no answer?"

"No." Nicki walked down the steps making her way to the kitchen.

"He'll come around."

"He won't. I fucked up." Nicki said the last part with a weak and half broken voice. It was true. She fucked up. Big time. And she was terrified that this time was permanent. She let go of the rail as she walked down the last step and into the kitchen.

"He always comes back. Just give him time. How do you know he doesn't miss you too?"

"Everything he said was right."

"Ohhh, don't say that."

"No, it's true. I guess that's the shit everyone keeps telling me about."

Nicki huffed. She was irritated at the fact that she was feeling sorry for herself. She was irritated that she didn't think of the outcome when she decided to put her plan mixed with someone's input in motion. She was irritated that her world was crumbling down right in front of her and at this point in time it was out of her hands. The people who she realized she needed the most she let go and now they want nothing to do with her.

"Don't be so sad. You want me to come over? We can watch Set It Off and I'll bring some Chicken and Hot Sauce to make you happy."

Nicki slightly laughed. "No, I'll be fine."

"You sure? Cause I already ordered Popeyes and if you don't want it me and TT are about to demolish it."

"Bye Candi. I love you, thanks for everything."

"You know you my girl. Love you. Make up with him!"

"He doesn't want to talk to me!" Nicki said hanging up. She placed her phone down on the island and walked over to the pantry. Time to eat my feelings, Nicki thought. She grabbed the bag of Goldfish off the shelf and closed the pantry behind her.

---

[Safaree]

"Aye, that's dope. Lemme see." Just then Safaree was interrupted by his phone. "Hold up. Lemme take this." He pulled his phone out and held a hand up to engineer and walked out of the studio room.

"It's Fengali, wuddup."

"Boy, bye." Candi said. SB huffed knowing where this was headed before it even got started.

"Whatchu want?" SB said before he licked his lips.

"You and Nicki need to fix things."

"For what? She fired me." He adjusted his hat on his head.

"Yeah and she regrets it."

"Then why she do it? All that listening to other people and shit."

"Look. I know she fucked up. She knows she fucked up. And right now I can bet you she's eating her feelings away and watching depressing ass love movies. Go to the house cause I know you in LA. And sit y'alls dumb asses down and talk."

"Whatever man. I'm wasting studio time."

"No, you're wasting my time. Both of y'all! We all know Nicki made a bad decision but don't give up on her. You knew she was stubborn as fuck from jump. Now put that shit on hold and go fix it. And if I call Nicki tomorrow and ain't shit changed, I'm fighting both of y'all."

Candi hung up the phone and SB shook his head. He pressed end and placed the phone in his back pocket. He stared up at the ceiling for a second with his hands on his head. He sighed and turned around opening the studio door and walked in.

"Yo, I got some things to take care of. I'll hit you later."

"Aight man, be careful."

"Always." SB said before waking out of the door and making his way out of the studio. He hopped in his car putting on his sunglasses and sat there for a minute. He looked around the empty parking lot before he put his keys in the ignition and pulled off.

---

Nicki wiped her face for the 3rd time in less than a second. She hated that she was sitting here feeling sorry for herself and she just wanted everything to magically come together and everything to be okay...including him be here... with her... and WANTING to be there. She grabbed her phone when it buzzed and a lump formed in her throat at the sight of what was on her screen. She was hesitant to open the message from him. She opened the message and stared at it for a moment.

I'm coming by. We need to talk. On my way.

After moments of re-reading the message she sat her phone down beside her and got up from the bed. She was nervous. Was he coming by to fix things? Or was he coming by to reassure her of the decision she made and continue to show her just what she lost? Shaking her nerves she tried to be cool. She didn't want to keep thinking negative, have her guard up when he gets here, and make yet another decision that she'll regret in the long run. She walked down the steps and made her way to the front door. Since SB gave her back his key, she knew she had to go unlock the door for him. She stepped to the door, placing one hand on the door while using her other hand to unlock all the locks. When it came down to the bottom lock on the door knob it twisted and Nicki quietly gasped stepping back. Another lump formed in her throat when the door opened and tears filled her eyes the second she saw him in the door way. She folded her arms across her chest and tried to avoid looking into his face.

SB stepped in closing the door behind him and debated whether or not he should step any closer. He shrugged it off and placed a hand on her arm. Nicki wiped at her face and slowly turned her head to look up him. His heart broke looking into her face. Her eyes said a million things in this moment and right now.. he didn't care about the situation. Looking into her face and seeing her like this, he knew she cared. Finally. Behind the mask she put up and everything he saw the care behind the hurt. And that's what made him forget about all the shit she's put him through 10 times over.

Nicki broke the longer she looked into his face and she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed his wrists and led him behind her to the living room. He sat on the couch at one end and Nicki sat down at the other end of the couch wanting to give him space. His face was emotionless and she didn't know if that meant he was still angry or here to make things better because she really didn't think she could take another day of this.

"I'm no-"

"Just let me talk." Nicki said first while still not looking in his direction. "I messed up. And everything you said was right." Nicki said as she shook her head and wiped her tears. "You were right. I put business before you and I didn't care. It's just like... everything is out of my control and I don't like it. It's scary. And I pushed you away, this time for good. So if you're here to tell me that I'm a selfish bitch, go ahead. I deserve it. If you're do-" Nicki tried to regulate her breathing that began to speed at the thought of what she was about to say. "If you're done with me for good then I'll take it."

"Nic, I'm not-"

Nicki held her hand up and stopped him shaking her head. "No. Just do one thing for me, please?" She said as she wiped her face. "Please?"

"Anything."

"Forgive me? Please?"

SB threw his head back resting it on the couch. It was hard for him to see Nicki like this. He's never seen Nicki like this.

"I'll always forgive you."

Nicki gave a quick little smile before she continued wiping at her face she went to get up from the couch and SB stopped her.

"Come here." He said as he raised his head up. Nicki walked over to SB and hesitantly put her hand in his. He pulled her onto his lap and she made herself comfortable in his lap trying to stop her cries. She sighed into his chest feeling herself so happy in this moment whether or not it was just for this moment.

"I'm sorry." Nicki said. "I'm so sorry. I was so stupid to make that decision. I need you, SB. I really do." She stated never breaking from his chest. "Just, please..." she said in between heavy breaths. "Don't make me do this alone. I realized I messed up, just come back."

SB rubbed Nicki's back as she talked and moved his hands back placing them on her thighs.

"I'm here no matter what. You gotta stop though. Stop treating me like I'm against you, I'm not, Nic. For real."

"Is it over?"

"What?" SB said looking down at the top of her head. Nicki sat there for a moment before she pulled back and sat herself up.

"Do you still love me?" Nicki said barely audible while looking away not really wanting to know the answer. She sat there for a moment and felt her body becoming weak to his silence. She looked at him and he answered.

"I told you... this is forever."

Nicki smiled and wiped at her tear stained face. She grabbed his sunglasses and took them off his face wanting to look in his eyes. She wanted him to see that she was sorry. She wanted him to see that from this day forward she was going to make a change. No more of treating him how she treated him in the past because she saw where it was headed and it wasn't for her. She wanted him to see that she really does love him. That she really does need him. He removed his hands from her thighs and grabbed hers and she locked their fingers falling into his chest.

---

[Later that day]

"No, come lay with me." Nicki tapped the spot that was beside her and threw the covers back. SB walked around the bed and took that spot. "Hold me." Nicki was needy for his affection now that he was back and she was going to make sure she cherishes every single moment with SB. Every good moment and make sure they never have another HORRIBLE moment. She couldn't deal with another one of those.

"I need to tweet my barbz."

Nicki pulled up her twitter app and hit the compose new tweet button.

BARBZ!!!!!!!!! WATCH JAY LENO TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD STUFF!!!! LOVE U!!!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!

She twisted her lip and composed another new tweet.


HEAR ME BARBZ!?!?!?!? WATCH JAY LENO TONIGHT!!!!! K, BYE

She went to sit her phone down when she remembered one more thing.


AND WATCH ELLEN TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

She looked over her timeline and laughed at them going in on her caps lock and smiled at the ones still talking about the fact that her and SB had made up. They always know, she thought. She snuggled into SB more and put her phone down. "The barbz wanted me to stay and talk to them." Nicki said as she ran her hand down SB's arm before she locked their fingers.

"Why didn't you?" he said not taking his eyes off the screen.

"I have something more important to give my attention to." Nicki said raising her head up and kissing his cheek. "I love you so much, babe. I mean that."

He took his attention off the screen and looked down at her. "I love you too, Nicki." he bent down and kissed her forehead and Nicki smiled and rested her head on his chest.

"You make me happy...you just being here." she said talking more so out loud than to him.

"I'll always be here."

"Thank you, babe." Nicki said as she unlocked their fingers and wrapped her arms around his body tightly and sighed into his chest. She missed him so much and she learned her lesson. If you love somebody, you have to let them know. Tomorrow's never promised together, you have to let it show.

When Did Things Go Wrong?

"How are you, baby?"

"I'm good."

"No, you're not."

"Hm?"

"Onika, I know when something's wrong. You can tell me."

"I don't want to talk about it right now, ma."

"Okay, but remember you can always call me."

"I know."

"Alright, baby. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Call me later."

"I will."

Nicki hung up the phone and sighed. Just then she heard footsteps coming up her stairs and a smile grew across her face. Candi and TT walked into her room and her smile grew even bigger.

"How did you guys get in here?"

"Oh, you left the front door unlocked."

Candi and TT walked around and sat on the opposite side of Nicki on the bed.

"Still depressed?"

Nicki glared at both TT and Candi before she grabbed up her phone and stood up off the bed.

"I'm fine."

"You're not. How could you be?" TT said.

Nicki placed her phone down on her dresser and began looking around.

"Where the fuck is that charger?"

"Nope. She's not." Candi said. Nicki stopped in her tracks and glared over at Candi before continuing to look around her room.

"Have you guys seen my charger?"

"We just got here." Candi said.

"And you can just leave too." Nicki said looking back at Candi with a sarcastic smile. TT laughed and got comfortable sitting on Nicki's bed. Candi rolled her eyes and waved Nicki off.

"We're not here to give our opinion. We're just here for support."

"Really? The one time I need you guys to tell me if what I did was right, you guys don't want to give your opinion?" Nicki said as she bent down finding her charger in the corner of her room right before you enter her closet. She picked it up and turned around to them.

"If you think what you did was right then it was right." TT said.

"And if you think it's wrong..." Candi said before cutting her sentence off shortly.

"Whatever. You guys are useless."

Nicki grabbed her phone off the dresser and walked over towards the socket in the wall.

"Has he came and got his stuff yet?" TT asked.

"Mhmmm." Nicki bent down plugging the charger into the wall and plugged the charger up to her phone. She stood up and laid her phone down on her nightstand.

"Well...did you talk to him?"

"You mean did he talk to me?" Nicki walked over to the corner of her room and took a seat in her chair. She reclined it back just a little and leaned her head back against it.

"You guys are so stubborn." TT said.

"Fuck him."

"Just difficult." Candi said.

"Whatever. Instead of being mature about it he wants to ignore me and act like that so whatever. He's gone. I don't have to see him."

"This is crazy." Candi said rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

"Never thought this day would come." TT said.

"Yeah, well..." Nicki started but drifted off getting caught in the memory.

"I'm tired of having this fucking argument with you!"

"You don't have to. You keep yelling and shit. It's not gon change nothing."

"Well that's fucking ridiculous and sad. You don't even fucking care, it's just sick." Nicki said holding her hand up to him and looking away shaking her head trying to prevent the tears that she felt were on the verge of breaking into a flood. 

"I do care. I care a lot."

"You don't show it." Nicki spat back.

"You don't show it either."

"How the fuck is this always being turned back on me? We are BOTH wrong here. I'm so sick of this shit."

 "I'm sick of it too." 

Nicki felt herself raging with anger at how calm SB was appearing to be. Actions speak louder than words and right now... they're saying he doesn't care. But for SB, that's not true. He's devastated. Seriously. But showing it isn't going to do much for him or work in his favor. He didn't want to keep pretending with Nicki. They both know they're hurting. They both know things aren't right. The littlest things have been blown up into such situations and they're causing everything to fall apart. And that's exactly what's happening right before their eyes... everything is falling apart. 

"So you're putting this over me?"

"How am I doing that? I'm still here."

"SB. Let's not play fucking stupid alright?! You haven't been around lately at all. What the fuck are you talking about? You would rather be doing your own thing than being with me. So that's showing you care?"

"You treat me like I'm invisible anyways, what you need me for?"

Nicki grunted and rolled her eyes getting even more angry. 

"Don't fucking-"

"Yo, you need to chill, forreal." SB said standing up finally letting his attitude show. "This shit is ridiculous."

"It is, huh?" Nicki laughed and walked back and forth trying to calm herself. 

"You think we both putting this shit over each other, that's the problem." SB said smacking his hand in his other hand. "But let's be real about this shit."

"Now you wanna be real about this shit? Don't give me that fucking attitude, Safaree!"

"Nah, you wanted to keep arguing so let's do it."

"Let's do it." Nicki said with anger. 

"This argument of me not being there for you is getting tired." Safaree said turning to walk out the door. 

"You're NOT there for me!" Nicki said shouting and following behind him."Where the fuck have you been the past few days? No, the past few months! Huh? Not here with me!"

SB sighed shaking his head and continued walking towards his room. He walked into his closet and grabbed a duffle and began throwing random clothes in it. 

"Leaving again. What a fucking surprise!" Nicki threw her hands up. "You keep showing you don't give a fuck about me anymore."

"You show you don't give a fuck anymore either." SB said turning and walking right passed her and out of his closet and into his bathroom.  "You're making this shit bigger than what it is." SB grabbed his toothbrush and tossed it into his duffle.

"How?! Huh?!"

"You let this nigga talk you into firing me." SB said with a chuckle. "This that shit that everybody was talking about when they said he can't be trusted."

"SB, don't act like I haven't said that before. I've always said I was going to but still have you around. Now that it actually happened you want to leave me?!"

"What's the point of me being around?" SB walked passed her again out of the bathroom door and back into his room. He tossed the bag on the bed and walked over to his shoes that were lying in the corner of his room. He picked them up and sat in the chair. "You don't need me for shit, anyways. It's all about Nicki." he said as he put on his shoes. 

"Is that why you're trying to do your own thing so you don't have to be tied in with me anymore?"

SB ignored Nicki's talking and continue putting on his shoes.

"Answer me!"

He continued ignoring her. Nicki stomped over to the bed and grabbed his duffle. 

"You're not getting this until you fucking answer me."

SB stood up and grabbed his jacket off the bed and put it on. Nicki stared at him with rage and Safaree adjusted his hat. He put on his sunglasses and turned to face Nicki who now had tears running down her face at a rapid pace. In all honesty, his heart broke seeing that Nicki was broken right in front of his eyes. But he was fed up. He was sick and tired. Nothing was the same. 

What happened? What changed? WHEN did things change? How did things get this far? They've always had their moments and they bounce back from them but this was different, no this way COMPLETELY different. The feeling of somewhat resentment and anger they had towards each other was now becoming crystal clear and it scared both of them. It's been building up and building up.

Nicki didn't want to fire SB. Why would she? But she saw the way things were headed business wise which was interfering with her personal and she didn't need it. So she thought it was the best move when Manny suggested it. She still wanted SB around regularly just like he was before, she didn't know that when she told him she wanted to let him go that that would be the breaking point that caused all of this. 

And now... it was too late. SB felt like he was in a never ending boxing match that he could not win. He was restless and tired. Everything was affecting him though he didn't choose to show it. He cared. He still cares. More than Nicki or anyone could ever know. But right now in this moment, he was done. He had to hang up his boxing gloves and go. 

"So you're done?" Nicki said lowly with tears. He sighed and grabbed the bag out of her hands that she didn't even have enough strength to put up a fight with. He ignored her and turned to walk out of his room and Nicki on his heels.

"You're really done?! You always give up on me, always."

"Shit, I been trying for 13 years with you." he said walking down the steps. Nicki stared at his back following behind him as the tears continued to fall. "13 years for nothing I guess." They made it to the bottom of the stairs and SB continued walking, never stopping until he hit the front door and heard Nicki's voice.

"You're throwing away 13 years over this?!"

"Nah, YOU threw away 13 years, Nic. You did that the moment you chose all this fame shit over me. The passed few months you haven't paid me any attention. As soon as I do stuff for myself and I'm not around anymore, I'm selfish."

Even more so, SB felt like he has been trying for years, months, weeks, days and Nicki never once tried with him. He felt like he since he's been doing all the work, now it's time to see. Now it's time to see who cares for who more. He felt like Nicki knew this was coming, he knew it was coming, everyone knew it was coming. The problems were obvious. But did Nicki ever try? No. When he tried to talk to her about it did she care? No. She brushed it off. Just like she's been doing to him since things have been getting rockier. Brush it off and act happy. So why should he care when she doesn't?

"Safaree, it's not about you wanting to do your own shit! Stop saying that!" Nicki said now shouting. "You're doing all this cause you want my attention?" 

SB threw his head back finding himself angry for arguing with her now. 

"I know it's not. It's about you being all about work. You being all about business. You being all about yourself. You didn't give a fuck about me until I went away. It's not about your damn attention either. It's about you not caring."

"That's not true." Nicki said as she wiped at her face. 

"It is. You put everything before me, so chill out. You don't even want me around because you really want me around. Only for you. Everything for you. I hope this shit goes perfect for you now that I'm out of the way." Before he could even grab the doorknob he stopped hearing Nicki's voice again.

"How did we get here?" Nicki said through heavy breathing and tears.  

"I told you. When you chose business over your "family." He said right before he opened the door and walked out.

"I just have a question, and then you can shut me up and get angry or whatever you want..." Candi said.

Nicki sighed. "Say it."

"Do you still love him?"

"Of course."

"So what's the problem?"

"Everything. Every little thing, every big thing."

"It really is true what they say..." Candi said.

"What?" Nicki and TT said at the same time.

"No matter how good you think you are, or you think things are between you and your loved ones, fame will always test that."

"It just doesn't make sense." TT said. "13 years. 13 years. THIRTEEN. You're just going to let it go like that?" she snapped. "Just like that?"

"He let it go, too."

"But he tried to fix things. You told us that. And you ignored it and wanted to continue being mad about it."

Nicki sighed deeply and wiped at a tear that she wondered when the hell go there.

Nicki grabbed her phone and braced herself opening the message from SB. 

I'm having a show if u wanna come...

I don't. Good luck with it.

Wow...

What?

I was right.

Right about what?

You really don't care. Ha...

I have other things to do, SB. I'm a busy person, you know that. 

But you're gonna be in NY at the same time working on Brinx's mixtape...but you got other things to do. Aight

Nicki ignored his messaged and tossed her phone in the corner of the room. 

"Don't cry, Nic. Forreal." Candi said.

"We're trying to help." TT said.

"I know." Nicki said as she wiped at her face. "Everything's just falling apart."

"If you want things to get better than you have to fix it. I don't care what Manny says, I don't care what your fans say, and I don't care what the media says. If you feel like you made the wrong decision letting SB go then you need to fix it." Candi said.

"Nicki not only did you lose your hypeman, you lost your best friend. I mean your BEST friend. Not only your hypeman and best friend but your boyfriend. Fix it." TT said.

"You guys just don't get it."

  Candi and TT sighed feeling like they were getting nowhere.

"Fine. We're gonna stay out of it but you really need to think about it." TT said.

"When all this fame and shit goes away... remember who was there for you from the beginning and wasn't trying to use you to get where they want to be."